Unloveable

(originally posted on http://hailiedies.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/ last 19 May 2005, 12:06a.m.)


It's never worth to try and love me. And no...it's not because I'm cynic. It's just that I'm...unloveable.

Many have tried to get close to me and be more than just my friend. But I'm a tease...I can bat my not-so-beautiful eyelashes at you and smile coyly. And with my revealing tops and skirts, lure you into my pretend world of "ka-diyosahan"...but once you're in, I turn to ice. Yes people of the world...I'm a bad, bad girl. but I don't mean to be one.

I'm a mushy person, pretending that she's not. I love romantic stories. I react to them with a passion. I cried to Josie's first kiss in Never Been Kissed. I wished I can be Kat of 10 Things I Hate About You so I can write poetries and my object of affection will sweep me off my feet with a nice, cool guitar. And how many times have I prayed that I can, even for just a day, be Jamie Sullivan of A Walk To Remember so that Landon can hug me and whisper, "Oh baby that will never happen." Sigh. Thinking about these things turns me into a softie. They make me believe that hey, true love does exist. They make me believe that I am a princess waiting for her prince charming to sweep her off her feet. But why is it that when I'm thrown into the real world, everything turns gray.

Makes me wonder...am I really cut to be a princess? Maybe. Maybe not. And maybe my prince has approached me already and then realized that hey...I'm just a frog in pretty dresses. Good to look at but slimy to behold. Oh well...more on this issue on my next post. My quality trainer (at this call center I'm working with) is droning on and on about an important topic and I mustn't miss it...

END NOTE: It's really hard to keep on believing that love is a magical thing...