Of the past and its effects on Hailie

Three pseudo-relationships. All ending up with the guy 'cheating'. End result is Hailie with a broken, nay MANGLED, heart. I remember her saying, a month after the last guy ripped her heart apart and amidst buckets and buckets and buckets of tears, that she'll never love the same way again. Or that perhaps she'll never really love again.

And I thought she meant that she'll never enter a psuedo-relationship again. That she'll stop being so giving. That the next time around, she'll be as heartless as the guys who've broken her heart have been.

That's what she thought as well.

And we were both wrong.

She did let herself enter another pseudo-relationship. She never stopped giving. And she can never bring herself to being as heartless as all those guys who've broken her heart.

So what's changed?

She doesn't know how to trust anymore. Her once blind faith has been totally wiped out...

Perhaps because of her failed relationships, she's resorted to always thinking that her guy will cheat on her eventually. So that when it finally happens, it will be easier to accept. So now, every little thing make her doubt... And she's almost sure that when things end with her current psuedo-relationship, it's because the guy cheated on her.

But she's soon realizing that being in the other end of the spectrum is not a good thing as well. She ends up being too much to bear that she ends up pushing people away.

She badly needs to find her middle ground. Soon.

Feeling: bored
All ears to: the TV, showing October Road
Curled up in bed with: Tuesdays with Morrie Mitch Albom

Zenni Optical makes the New York Times

"Seeing Straight Without Breaking the Bank", goes the New York Times' article about Zenni Optical.

I can just hear some of you saying, "Zenni Optical in the New York Times?!"

Oh yes. And why not? Zenni Optical sells Prescription eyeglasses for only $8! That in itself merits it a space in the New York Times. what's even newsworthy is the fact that not only are Zenni Optical glasses cheap, they're also very, very stylish. Take this choice of mine for example (the 4620 Metal Alloy / Stainless Steel Half-Rim Frame):

Aside from this Zenni Optical glass coming in my favorite pink (and also black, purple, blue, gold, gray, and silver), the glass is also uber simple it just screams of class.

So if you're in the market for a really good pair of glasses that does not 'break the bank', head over to Zenni Optical's site.

Random thoughts on a lazy Sunday morning

...is fun. But can get pretty tiring. Especially when you've started to invest more than you should.

* * * *

I woke up to a dramatic SMS from a really good gay friend. S/he shared about how a months long unrequited love is still making him/her shed tears. And I honestly, honestly felt the pain.

It's easy to say, "Move on. There are still other fishes in the ocean." but when you're in that position where my friend is (and where I once was - is?), it's hard to heed that advice. Because deep inside, you do know that letting go and moving on is the best thing to do but that no matter what you do you just can't seem to do so. It's not stubbornness; it's that hope that perhaps you didn't make a wrong decision after all and that one day, your love becomes not so unrequited after all. Choosing to hang on may be a stupid decision, but as they say, heart is the dumb blonde of the body and no matter what you tell it, it stands with its stupidity.

All these makes me remember the latest McDonald's commercial...the one that makes me teary-eyed everytime I see it:

* * * *

For some weird reason, I feel like The Cranberries' Linger is my 'song of the moment'.

Sigh.

Feeling: melancholic

All ears to: Stars: The Best of 1992 - 2002 The Cranberries
Curled up in bed with: A Personal History Katharine Graham

Saturday survey

...para matuwa-tuwa naman ako. (Ninenok kay Olai)

1. What is your best friend's name?
Erm, andami nila eh. Hehe!

2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
Black lacy underwear. OO, dapat vivid description. Haha!

3. What are you listening to right now?
Secondhand Serenade's "Awake" and "A Twist In My Story" albums. The first one's still way better.

4. What's your favorite number?
For some weird reason, I love the number 8. Must be the curves. ^shrugs^ I also love 25. Because it holds something significant for me (no, not my age)...

5. What was the last thing you ate?
A Crunch chocolate, post breakfast of tortang talong and kanin.

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
PINK!!!

7. How is the weather right now?
Sunny and windy at the same time. Come to think of it, the perfect weather to stay out. Pero tinatamad ako, that's why I just decided to stay home and park myself in front of the PC. LOL.

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
"TL" Biloy called, asking me if I wanted to transfer to the graveyard shift. (NooooOOOOOoo!!!)

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Hmmn. The bukge? Hahaha! Nah...second na lang 'yun. It's the smile. Hehe...

10. Do you have a significant other?
Nope.

11. Favorite TV show(s)?
Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, House, American Idol, and October Road.

12. Siblings?
A younger sister and brother.

13. Height?
5'1"

14. Hair color?
Black

15. Eye Color?
Black

16. Do you wear contacts?
Nope.

17. Favorite Holiday?
Halloween!! Tee-hee.

18. Favorite Month?
Summer months, April and May!

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
Yes. Because I tend to be a bit on the paranoid side. Haha! Pero binabalanse ko naman...tumatawa din ako for no reason. LOL.

20. What was the last movie you watched?
Sa Cinemas? Hmmn...I think it was "Desperadas 2" with Jen and Loki. Haha! Watched "Malena" at home just the other day.

21. Favorite Day of the Year?
Hmmn. None in particular.

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
Sometimes. But mostly not. Haha!

23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
No...

24. Hugs or Kisses?
Dahil maganda ang sagot ni Olai, gagayahin ko lang sagot niya --> hug AND kisses... and so much more! bwahahahaha

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
CHOCOLATE, hands down!

26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
Err, bahala sila.

27. Who is most likely to respond?
...

28. Who is least likely to respond?
...

29. What books are you reading?
Katharine Graham's "A Personal History" and "Ladies' Erotica" (hindi joke 'yung last one).

30. Piercings?
Ears and navel.

31. Favorite movies?
Super dami! But "Sympathy for Lady Vengeance", "Beauty and the Beast", and "Monster" top the list.

32. Favorite football team?
Err, am not into football.

33. What were u doing before this?
Watching "House".

34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
Buttered and salted!

37. Dogs or cats?
Not much into pets but dogs, I guess.

38. Favorite flower?
Tulips and white roses.

39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
HAHAHAHAHA!!! 'Yun lang.

40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
Yup.

41. Have you ever loved someone?
Yeah. Fell in love twice.

42. Who would you like to see right now?
My college and high school friends! And Jeypi.

43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
Hmmn. I don't think so. Haha, I don't remember who my classmates were back then.

44. Have you ever fired a gun?
Yup, during Sir Palmones's BC 186 Seminar in Broadcasting class. And I wanna do it again!!!

45. Do you like to travel by plane?
Yeah. But I like travelling by water more.

46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
Right-handed.

47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
Usually three. Pero kapag may katabi, isa lang pede na. Hahaha!

48. Are you missing someone?
Yeshie.

49. Do you have a tattoo?
No. I'd like to get one pero papatayin ako nang nanay ko if I ever do that.

50. Anybody on Friendster that you'd go on a date with?
... ... ...

I';m beginning to think...

...that I'm just a meantime girl.

Feeling: pensive

All ears to: Forget About Me A Little Bit
Curled up in bed with: A Personal History Katharine Graham