Saturday, December 16, 2006

Happy and Sad and Happy again

Dinner and coffee with friends

Went out with a couple of really good friends last night. And it was fun. And I honestly didn't think it would be fun - not because the people I met were not fun people but because at the time we were meeting, I came from a 16-hour shift and was really, really sleepy.


Anyways, back to the story. I met Pima and Dex at Cafe Ten Titas (Gateway) at around 8:30 p.m. (okay, maybe 8:45 - stupid Karen got lost). Then we talked. At around 10 o.m., when Cafe Ten Titas started to close for the day, we trooped to Starbucks. And talked some more. We said adieu at 11:30/12. Three and a half hours of catching up with what's going on with friends I haven't seen in quite awhile. The stories were not always happy (Pima, huggles!), but the company always was.

Here's to another night out soon, Pims and Dex! =)

====

Of a botched attempt at breaking the cycle?

I really don't know what to say. Or how to say it. All I know is that - as my instant messenger says - my mind is a hazy mess.

Fuck.

====

On to happy things

I so love this game!!! Watch and you'll understand why:




Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
All ears: Damaged Plumb
Lost in: Stainless Longganisa Bob Ong

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Let's load up on Happy Meals

Here's Karen's latest obsession:

McDonald's beanie bears

Aren't they oh-so-cute?

I feel cheated though. Manufactured by Ty Inc., these teenie beanie babies/bears were free with McDonald's Happy Meals during the fastfood chain's 25th Anniversary..which was way back in 2004! And there were 12 teenie beanie babies back then: Birdie the Bear, Golden Arches the Bear, Ronald McDonald the Bear, Hamburglar the Bear, Happy Birthday the Bear (originally Happy Meal 25th Bear or Happy Meal 10th Bear for Canada), Fries the Bear, Grimace the Bear, Burger the Bear, McNuggets the Bear, Shake the Bear, Happy Meal the Bear, and Big Red Shoe the Bear - our Happy Meal is missing the last five on the list. Andaya!

Anyways, happy pa din. At least we get Grimace. He's just so cute. And so is his beanie bear version Tee-hee! ^__^


Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting giddy
All ears:
If I Fell The Beatles
Lost in: Stainless Longganisa Bob Ong

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

. . . . . . . .

This is not normal PMS behavior. Mood swings are crazier than usual.

Just now, I'm feeling so melancholic, I wanna dive into the seaa, never to return again. And no, this is not because nangangarap akong maging sirena; but because I just wanna be enveloped by water...forever. But just 30 minutes ago, I was so giddy and it seemed like there was this stupid smile already plastered on my face.

Eventhough I don't really wanna admit it, I think I know where this abnormal PMS-ing comes from. But I don't wanna talk about it.

Sigh.

I badly need a walk in Sunken Garden...



Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting oober sad
All ears: Damaged Plumb
Lost in: Twisted II Jessica Zafra

Friday, December 8, 2006

Hailie's simple joys

15. Free WWE slam cards from 7-11
14. Rayman's rabbids and Loco Rocos
13. Stabilo's point 88 pink and Staedtler's fine-liner blue
12. The sight of Hello Kitty and Won Bin and Kim Rae Won
11. Eating the last okra in nanay's sinigang
10. Cute post-its
09. A text message at the wee hours of the morning when I'm already almost dozing off in front of the PC
08. Super pop-py songs
07. Chocolates (special mention: KitKat White)
06. Swiss Miss
05. His hand resting on my back
04. teddy bears
03. Cheez Whiz
02. Bart Burger with cheese
01. His hand resting on my knee

Monday, December 4, 2006

Tula

Sa dinami-dami ng tulang naisulat ni Prof. Reuel Molina Aguila, hindi ko alam kung saan ito naoulot ng kaibigan kong si Sophia. Saan man siya nagmula, gusto ko siya...

Kasi.

Basta.

May mga dahilan ang bawat bagay sa mundo, 'di umano.
Gaya ng pagsilang at pagkaagnas ng buwan.
Ngunit may mga mapagkait sa paliwanag, tulad ng pag-ibig.
At ang luha sa aking mga mata sa aking paghihintay
Tuluyang nalunod ang buwan sa sariling luha.
Ngunit hihintayin pa rin kita sa gilid ng buwan.
-Prof. Reuel Molina Aguila

Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting wishful
All ears: June Up Dharma Down
Lost in: The Art of Seduction Robert Greene

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Samu't-saring pagmumuni

Sunken Garden

The other day, I was greeted by "n" number of miscalls ("n" standing for SUPER DAMI) and two dramatic SMS that went "Karen, kailangan ko ng kausap. Puwede ba kita i-meet today" and "Busy ka yata. Salamat na lang" from a college friend . When I finally got to answer her call(ssssssss), the poor girl was crying - the first time I actually heard her cry. And although I was coming from a 15-hour duty and had to return to work in nine hours' time, I said yes to meeting her. And then we trooped to our little piece of heaven on earth, Sunken Garden.

We never really talked about why we're even meeting up. She never did go into details as to why she was in tears when she called. We just made happy kuwentos. While sitting in the oh-so-comfy grass of Sunken. Surrounded by people making out. And practicing soccer. And making music. And teaching catechisms. And just basking in the peace that Sunken brings. Like us.

I always love the effect that Sunken has on me (and my friend, and apparently other people as well), especially when I stay there during the afternoons when students are just about ready to go home, the soccer team's practicing, and the sun is setting. I can't describe just how lovely the feeling is...it just is.

Sigh.

I love Sunken. ^__^

====

Spectacular Siren meets Demonic Rake

When a spectacular siren meets a demonic rake, what happens?

I'd like to think that the siren - being the "most ancient seductress of all" - will take over the rake. After all, women - if they're deceitful enough - can never be overpowered by men (or so says Marguerite of Navarre).

But then again, since not all woman "can maintain the image of being devoted to pleasure completely comfortably" even sirens will try to "distance herself from [the image]" and pine for "attention that is not sexual". But not all guys will understand this. In fact, guys, once entranced by the siren, will most likely keep showering her with 'sexual attention'.

Now if a demonic rake can speak intertesting words, "alliterative phrases, charming locutions, poetic images, and a way of offering praise that could melt a woman's heart", does this mean he can also flatter a spectacular siren and shower her with the right words that will make her believe that there's this one guy who actually looks at her beyond the image of sexuality she projects? After all, a demonic rake "know[s] each woman's weakness". And if that is true, then he can see through a siren and know what she wants - serious, non-sexual attention.

But.

But.

A demonic rake always drops words that are "suggestive, hinting at sex or romance". So is he even capable of showering the serious attention that the spectacular siren wants?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Yet there's this one spectacular siren who actually wishes the answer could be "yes" all because of one demonic rake.

Except on days when the siren in her is just so strong she wants to dominate the rake. And sometimes she's given the impression that she successfully has.

And then...

There will be this one moment - just one seemingly unimportant moment - and the seducer turns into the seduced into the seducer into the...

And the cycle goes on and on.

All because a spectacular siren met a demonic rake.

Fuck.

====

What's in a name?

Because of site fuck-ups (when did we NOT have site fuck-ups?!?!) or because of the effect of watching too many "break dance / street dance showdowns" over at YouTube, officemate Max spent some time at UrbanDictionary and looked up meanings of our names. And only two showed up for Karen:

(1)

Karen is the perfect woman. She has no flaw. She's funny, sweet, smart as hell, and above all, she is extremely gorgeous. She doesn't let anyone push her around and she has a great personality. She has some awesome goals set and always wins my heart. Has great taste in guys. Don't listen to what the other jack-off put. Everybody loves Karen.

If you were to look up the word "amazing" in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Karen.

(2)

The person in the group of friends that you constantly make fun of when they aren't around. Derived from Dane Cook's comedy album Retaliation.

I'm not so sure about the first definition...pero hindi din ako aangal. Tee-hee! And the second definition's just so mean...and eventhough I don't wanna be associated with it, apparently, I already am. So there...

And here's another thing Max saw and it's really....interesting. And I don't know if I wanna laugh at the absurdity of it or if I wanna cry at being identified with such definitions...

karenmonger

(1)

A person with an insatiable appetite for sexual activity who through an act of grandeur, or as the result of copious intoxication, refers to all sexual partners as 'Karen'.

(2)

A person who preferentially seeks sexual relations with women named Karen.

And of course I looked up my alter-ego:

Hailie

Eminem's little angel, his greatest gift in life

...plus countless more definitions all referring to Hailie/Hailie Jade as Eminem's daughter. And funny enough, I really lifted the name Hailie from the white rapper's daughter's name (yeah, I used to lust over the guy and, uh, nothing).

Oh yeah, this has nothing to do with my name but I decided to post it as well, just to piss off my friend Jex (tee-hee!):

Jex

(1)

The kind of dancing one does when deeply inebriated, e.g.: swaying, staggering, stepping on toes, and the tendency to perform inappropriate hula dances.

(2)

Masturbation. To "jerk-off."

And since I have been talking about Max, *ehem*, here's how he is defined:

(1)

Short for "Maximilian", a russian name meaning "Large Penis."

(2)

+ hung (as in max hung): used to describe the condition one is in after a severe evening engaging in consuming many alcoholic beverages

And a definition of Cuteness' name (guess what his name is...it starts with "R"...):

A man who possesses a penis of nine inches or longer

*ehem*


Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting oober kilig
All ears: Toxic Britneyt Spears
Lost in: The Art of Seduction Robert Greene

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Of Rs (and an H)

From the previous entry: "My thoughts revolve around three Rs right now."

...and it's down to two.

Or not.

Or...I'm not really sure.

...

...

...

* * * R1 * * *

The first of the Rs - the one who was supposed to be eliminated from the list.

I don't really know if I wanted to write about you. Or how kilig I get (or got; or whatever) whenever I'm around you. Or whenever you send me a "you look like a Playboy bunny" text of sorts. Or...stop. Stop. Stop.

That day you sent me an offline message asking me if it was my off, I didn't close that window until the end of shift. Yeah, pathetic. But can you blame me? Every inch of my body was awashed with kilig.

Was.

Because the morning I saw you next, I felt, bleh. And there was a part of me that wished - and knew - it will stay that way.

And I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

And then there was this day - I can't remember when exactly - where I looked at you and all I could notice was how red your lips were. And how long your fingers are. And how effin' hot you are when you're just sarcastic. And I said to myself, " God, he *is* fuckable."

Fuckable. Yeah. That's how I used to call you.

I mean, that's how I call you. Without the "used to".

Or...

I dunno.

I'm confused.

Or just plain fickle-minded.

But this I'm sure of: I loved it that you found the site of my "black brasserie's right cup" an "intriguing distraction"...

* * * R2 * * *

Probably the biggest crush I have at the office right now.

One.hot.guy. (At least that's what I think. Gay friend Mhac *ehem* thought otherwise...until this morning, that is, when Mhac saw R2 upclose and all he could mutter was "Who was that? Me like him...")

R2 is the star of Hailie's "push pin" daydreams (yes, you read that right - DAYdream). In short, I wanna be dominated by him.

Yet when we face each other outside of my dreams, the interaction becomes so...highschool-ish. Or even gradeschool-ish. Yet somehow, I'm loving it. This sense of innocence only heightens the air of sexiness his presence brings.

And the next time he threatens to throw his bag at me, I know I'll be retorting with another smart comment. But deep inside, I'll be saying, "Ooh...yummy."

(And BTW...R2 looks like the guy in upcoming ABS-CBN Kdrama Princess Hours. Yummy, indeed.)

* * * R3 * * *

Cuteness.

That's how I call him. And I don't know when or how or - my god - WHY...but I just fell for him.

All I know is that when I'm around him, I feel so happy. And safe. And myself.

And I haven't felt that way in a long time.

But I now know that it's so hard to hope. So eventhough I'm so aching to take things a step further, chillax lang muna. Besides, kahit na masakit aminin (at ayoko aminin), alam kong ako lang may gustong i-take siya sa next level...

Why do R3 - and the things happening - remind me oh so much of Hallel?

* * * ...and the H * * *

Speaking of Hallel...

There...I said (or wrote?) his name. The ever-elusive "Charles".

I really, really, really have to have that closure. He gave me that opportunity. And just when it was about to happen, he took it away...AGAIN. And that was the second time.

Fuck.

When will I ever learn?!?!

Tanga nga ako.

Tanga.

Sana naman I've learned enough to let go.

To move on.

Shit...I really need to move on.

But I have this feeling it's gonna take another seven months.

Or more.

Pathetic.

And I've officially turned yuckers with all these mush. Sadly, wala akong pang-kambyo. Talagang I need to end this entry in mush.

Happily, meron akong pang-kambyo...

* * * Seven songs * * *

Tagged by Tonton...

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal/blog along with your seven songs.
  1. Jealous by Nina (ayan ka, mush pa din pala)
  2. Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado
  3. Start of Something New by Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens
  4. What I've Been Looking For by Ashley Tisdale and Lucas Grabeel
  5. Mata by Mojofly
  6. Who The Hell Are You by Madison Avenue
  7. Variation on Canon by Pachelbel (the My Sassy Girl version)
  8. *alam ko seven lang...pero last na...promise - tee-hee!* Erase and Rewind by The Cardigans (kasalanan mo 'to Mabie!!!)

Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Confused (yet again)
All ears: Jealous Nina
Lost in: Ladies' Own Erotica Kensington Ladies' Erotica Society and The Art of Seduction Robert Greene

Monday, October 30, 2006

Another set of one-liners?

Because I haven't been articulate recently, I cannot write beautiful paragraphs describing what's been happening and how I've been feeling these past few weeks. So for now, I'll dish out another serving of one liners. Well, not as "one liner"-ish as the last post, but...you get my drift...I hope...

* I don't know why, but I feel so detached from you right now. But I honestly hope you'll be okay. Honest. Sometime, someday, we'll have that bond again, the one we had before things got...ugly. And before you started to lean on me at a time when I wasn't ready yet. When I still wanted to have fun. To be a college girl without much worries but her thesis.

* I wish you could look at me beyond the bread that I put in the table.

* Mailap pa din si closure. And I've been wanting to compose this open letter that I really, really wish could reach you. Blame it on katamaran, kapaguran, or the ever-corny "hindi pa ako ready" excuse, but here I am, still unable to pen the closure letter. Maybe next week. Next month. Next year. For now, I leave you with this song: Mata by Mojofly.

* My thoughts revolve around three Rs right now.

* It was nice, trying to break the cycle. And in some ways, I can say that I have successfully done so. Well, not as successfully as I want to - I still get kilig when I'm around the fuckable officemate (who said - or rather implied - that he has a girlfriend) and I still can't help but crush on the very much married Jofer - but the fact that I have stopped quote-unquote-falling for the attached guys and that I'm already seeing the advantage of actually quote-unquote-falling for the unattached ones is actually a good starting point. Mas masaya. Pero *ehem* old habits are hard to die. Sabihin na natin mas exciting pa din kapag ang isang tao ay hindi masyadong available. Challenge, eh. Pero *ehem uli*, one has to stop heeding to the challenge...

* Speaking of "Mas masaya"-ng unattached guys. Or guy. "Disguised" in the name of Cuteness. I love seeing him. Being around him. I don't know if you can say I'm actually falling but I think I'm getting there. Which scares me. And excites me. And I don't know. I just know that everytime I think about him, that I'm around him, I'm happy. And safe. And yuck, mushy. So I'll stop now, before I spit more mush.

* And he's been sweeter and nicer recently. I just have to be eternally prepared for those curve balls he still throws once in awhile... But let me just say that I loved how he laughed awhile ago. Dangerous.

* Okay, I've been camping out in geekland recently and I haven't been watching too much media (and by media I mean non-videogame related) and I have missed out on a lot of good stuff. Take High School Musical, for example. Been seeing this on Disney Channel for quite some time now and I read about Mika's and Ros' entries about this latest Disney Original and I know Zac Efron is love (ain't he?) but I just haven't found the time to actually sit down and watch the movie. And now I finally have. And it's just...love. Sigh. How fun it is to be a high schooler.

* I have to make another trip to Quiapo. I just have to buy It Started With A Kiss. Joe Cheng is heaven! ^__^

* I never thought wanting to help was gonna be interpreted in a wrong way. It's - I can't put a word on it, so for now I'll use depressing - depressing when people don't appreciate the help you're offering. I could put all expletives in here to express my disgust, frustration, and utter disbelief - but they will all be senseless. So, for now, I'll just lie low and mind my own business.

* I would have expected this from my friends, but not my family...

* Whoever said that birthdays are just for kids? Don't adults sometimes wish they could be the focus of their own fuckin' birthday? And I'm not talking about cakes and balloons and ice cream and the works. Just the attention. A simple, "Happy Birthday, Karen" would have sufficed. But no. Everybody went on talking about their own lives that until 7 p.m. when I said goodbye to go to work, the only people who greeted me were the little ones aged 6, 7, and 9.

* Did they even ask me if I wanted to go videoke?

* I want chocolates. And Japanese food. And a new stuffed bear.

* I just want my birthday to be happy. Not fun. Happy. Genuinely happy. I don't think it will happen, though. =(

Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Confused
All ears: Mata Mojofly
Lost: Eleven Minutes Paulo Coehlo

Monday, October 16, 2006

150 Things

And since my blog has beene silent and I still don't have time to make a post about the goings-on in my life, here's something fun nipped from Tonton's blog...

Instruction: Highlight the ones you've done.


01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped ---> I so want to!!!
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
42. Had amazing friends
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe --> someday!!!
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Posed nude in front of strangers
61. Gone scuba diving ---> Dream ko!!!
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played DVD for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason
84. Performed on stage
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Had a one-night stand ---> Sorta...*blush*
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray
110. Broken someone's heart ---> I hope not!
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school ---> Next year!!!
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read ---> Leo Tolstoy counts, aight?
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone's life

Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Giddy
All ears: Not An Addict K's Choice
Lost: Eleven Minutes Paulo Coehlo

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

One Liners

And I finally found the time to pause from all the madness of work and make an entry...

So much has happened. So much has been undocumented. And as much as I want to talk about everything in detail, I just...can't. And the events have to be condensed into...one liners.

Here goes...

September 3

* Ooh...pink phone. Must have.
* Php 5,000. Ka-ching.
* And Karen is once again connected to the outside world.
* That life should be my life.
* Wow.

September 8

* He's not that hot, but somehow he IS cute.
* I just love how he smiles.
* And sana hindi na niya binitawan 'yung kamay ko.

September 15

* This is fun...and I wish this will not be the last time.

September 16

* Nine years of friendship and I still love these guys. =)

September 18

* Girls' day out. Ang saya.
* And Karen reports to work intoxicated. *tog*

September 19

* And I missed Olai!!!
* Goodbye prety, pretty skirts.
* Goodbye sexy heels.
* This is wardrobe overhaul. Shit.
* And I cried once again. Shit. Shit.

September 20

* Hihiram ako ng linya mula sa Sugarfree: "O, kay tagal din kitang minahal"

September 21

* Images. Images. Images. All unwanted. Noooooooo!!!
* Sigh.
* And yeah, I'm disappointed.
* ...and disillusioned.
* ...and...
* Sigh.
* Sigh.
* Sigh.
* Sigh. . . . . . . .

September 24

* Ten thousand bucks...ka-ching, ka-ching. Yet somehow I'm happy. Uber happy. Kailan kay mauulit?

September 25

-He says I'm blooming; but despite a "long and lonely walk to Starbucks", he still didn't offer to walk with me.

September 26

* Oo, nagseselos ako.


Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Dizzy
All ears: What Hurts The Most Rascal Flatts
Lost: The Female Eunuch Germaine Greer

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Pochoy!!! (^_^)v

Pochoy"That was the meekest I've seen Karen."

Says my officemate about the time I got to have Pochoy Labog, vocalist of Dicta License, in front of me. Yup, unbelievable as it may seem but the moment I was face-to-face with hot Atenista, the malanding Karen just faded away, and in came the rarely seen mahinhin me. Stupid.

Mabie and I went to Saguijo last Wednesday, August 23. In the line-up was Dicta License (and another fave band, Urbandub). Fangirl Karen brought her CD, just in case she works up the courage to come up to one of her most favorite bands ever. Before the gig, while Mabie and I were drinking Red Horse (okay, okay...I know I promised to steer clear from alcohol...but I can't bear the thought of a Red Horse-less world), I just blurted out, "My God, I can't breathe." It's the proximity - Pochoy was a but a few steps away. Biceps and cuteness all in display. And then he moved to a spot just to my back. Mabie says, "Sandal ka ng konti." And my dreams of brushing elbows with my big krushie morphed into a bang - as in head banging into his elbow. Sablay. What a non-graceful way of making papansin. And all I was able to say was a meek, "Sorry."

Then Dicta's set took place. And here comes the fangirl apart from the mababaw "I love Pochoy" reason - I really love this band's music (as I have mentioned here and here). And I have to give it to the guys, they are GOOD (if not better) performing live. And okay, back to Pochoy, he was really passionate while he blurts out those socially significant lyrics of his. Hats off to these guys.

And the set ended.

And Karen knew she had to get her CD signed.

"I have to get my CD signed," I said to Mabie.

After a few minutes of chika, Mabie pulled me off to go find Pochoy. And when we found him, Mabie goes up to him, introduces us, and chatted with ultimate krushie. And Karen was quiet the whole time, smiling from time to time. When Mabie asked, "Can we get our CD signed?" and cutie Pochoy said sure, Karen timidly opened her bag and handed the CD and a pen.
Mabie: It's Karen's, by the way.

Pochoy: Oh, Karen? Is that with a K?

Karen: (looking, nay, STARING at Pochoy)

5...4...3...2...1...

Karen: Yeah, K.
My God, how...embarrassing can I get!

Oh well, at least I got to shake his hands and talk to him (eventhough I was all mumbles). Plus, his eyes and smile (the dimples! the dimples!!!!) was enough compensation for my kaaligagahan.

Pochoy. *sigh*


Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting and Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
All ears: Sugat Dicta License
Lost: The Deep End of the Ocean

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Unselfishness

Today was Karen's day of big realization: the world will be a much better place if everybody just stops to think of others.

The day started out with me seeing these two kids sharing a small cup of corn. The way they ate, it seemed like they haven't eaten in days. Like, they've almost forgotten how food really tasted and groveled at the chance for hot, tasty nourishment. It was such a pitiful sight. And it just made me realize that the world has so many problems, half - or maybe even 80, 90% - of which are bigger than my own. At that moment, I wanted to say, "From now on, I'll always think about others." But I know how hard that really is. Because at times, most of the times, we tend to be selfish. It's human nature.

Yet I guess the day was meant to turn me into a more giving person.

I've never denied it, I'm a One Tree Hill fan. In fact, one of the reasons I've chosen a Sunday off is to be able to watch the OTH rerun on etc. Since it was a Sunday, I watched the drama of the Tree Hill kids. As fate would have it, today's episode fell on "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept" where Jimmy - a relatively unpopular kid always picked on by the bullies - toted a gun to school and caused ruckus and an almost hostage situation that ended in him killing himself (and the evil Dan murdering his brother Keith, but that's not the focus of this entry). I was crying almost the whole time while watching tonight's OTH offering. All because the central topic of "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept" struck a chord in me. Let me take you to Jimmy's world...

As he said, he was tired of it all - being invisible. Or being visible only when people needed somebody to bully, to put down. Tired of being a loser. Of feeling that nobody really cared. Of the fact that nobody really knew him beyond being a "fat ass". He was eternally afraid of going to school. Then one day, he had to take a leave. He was so into anti-depressants that he had to take treatments and missed some school days. For him, being away from the cause of his misery was such a nice feeling. But he had to go back. And it's as if nothing happened. As if nobody reall noticed he was gone. He is a nice kid, it's just that nobody really noticed. Until he brought that gun.

It's easy to say that it's hard to get to know everybody around you, that it takes a lot to get into other people's drama. But that's such a stale excuse. Okay, it requires effort. And it's hard. But we need to make that effort. We need to reach out. It not only makes us sane, makes us feel that we have a good life (as Menander pointed out, "Consider other men's troubles; that will comfort yours") - it also makes those who truly suffer feel like all is not lost, that somebody actually cares enough to help. To reach out.

And after a purge of tears, I actually felt lighter. And I know I'll feel lighter when I achieve what I'm determined to achieve: become a less selfish person.

When one feels troubled, one must think of those who truly suffer.


Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Humbled
All ears: Jesus Take the Wheel Carrie Underwood
Trapped: Hunger Elise Blackwell

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Stories

Goodbye Sunken, Hello Makati

The week it happened, I was really pining for my walks around U.P.'s Sunken Garden. They were always calming. And eventhough they never solved my problems, they always eased my tired thinking mind and - even for just awhile - put me to a world where no problems exist. Maybe it's the non-achievement of the missed Sunken walks that made me irritable. Or maybe it's the boss picking on me. But on that day, I was just really on a bad mood. And Pok had a suggestion: canned beer, while walking around Makati. Walking. Nice. Walking with alcohol. Nicer. Makati may not be Sunken, but it will do for that night.

And many nights, it seems.

That night started a great tradition for Pok and me. But that's getting ahead of the story. Back to that one night...

Alcohol in hand (concealed, of course), we walked around Makati aimlessly. I don't even remember what exactly we talked about. But of course office issues won't be missing. And the usual chika and tsismis. And jabs at fashion. And love stories. Or the non-existence of it. All I remember is that the calming effect that walks around Sunken Garden had was also present in that night we walked around Makati. And we both felt it. And we both knew it wasn't the last night we'll be doing what we have dubbed as aimless walks.

Sunken, for now I bid you adieu. Karen has found a new haven. Hello, Makati.

* * * *

Aimless Walk 2

When we said that the aimless walk won't be the last, we didn't know its follow-up will come really soon. Speak "next night" soon.

Everybody at the PM shift had a bad office day. And they were introduced to the aimless walks. Just like the night before, aimless walk office edition was nice. It had the same effect: at the end of the night, office matters were buried and we all went home (hopefully) feeling better.

* * * *

CineMALAYA

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It was a perfect day. Pok and I spent our day watching indie films vying for fame (and prize money) at the annual indie filmmaking compet, CineMALAYA. We watched In Da Red Corner (blah, could've been promising though with its nice premise), Shorts A [Labada, Gee-Gee at Waterina, No Passport Needed, 10:25 Ng Gabi, and Kuwarto] (really fun, except for 10:25 Ng Gabi, which was depressing and No Passport Needed, which was really predictable), and Nasaan Si Happiness (kulang but still a fun watch).

The day was also an eye-opener. That day, I had before me the "where you should be" scenario. That - production - should be what I'm doing. And in a world I considered my own, I suddenly felt lost. And I felt the need to go back. Which I hope I'll be doing soon with Pok's brilliant idea.

The day was capped with our favorite Gerardo's chicken with white sauce. Plus a 'meaningful' stare from neighbor krushie.

*I missed Ang Huling Araw ng Linggo, Rotonda, Tulad ng Dati, and Donsol...I wish I'll be able to watch 'em still. ='(

* * * *

Neighbor Krushie

He's been giving me "the stare" lately. 'Yun lang. =p

* * * *

U.P., What Happened?

"Chris Tiu is one cute guy. But I hate him...he's one of the reasons U.P. lost. You know the drill, walang hihirit. Unless you wanna feel the wrath of one Karen Regpala. Hehe! ", BTW, Toti Almeda was standing beside me awhile ago. Heaven."

Read my text message to Rem after U.P.'s game against Ateneo (which I watched with Loi, who had a sign that said, "YOU HAVE BEEN MAROONED" - a sign captured by the UAAP cameras a couple of times, which is eewie because U.P. lost!). U.P. had a good start and lagged at the end of third to fourth quarter. In the end, we lost (I don't remember the score). Aargh. I'd like to say babawi kami, but...

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We lost the third game to Adamson University. Also had a great start. But we lost by two points. Sigh.

* * * *

Charles

I am playing with fire. . . . . . . . .

* * * *

Attached Guy Magnet

Yep, that's me. I don't know why, but I seem to attarct guys who are not single. And tonight just made me realize that.

A lesson in Karen history:

- My mom's friend. Very much married, with three kids. The nerve of the guy, he kept asking my mom to introduce him to me.

- Lorenz. Living in with his "wife" whom he has a kid with. And when he tried to make a play at me, his "wife" was pregnant.

- Benj. The bestfriend who kept on inviting me out for a date but who turned out to be attached. And yes, he still kept on inviting me out even after telling me he had a girlfriend (and I'm pretty sure it was not just a 'friendly' date...I know this guy too much).

- Migs. Went out on a date (or is that two?) with him and found out later on that he had a girlfriend.

- Those numerous DOMs at a conference I video-crewed for. They were all married and kept asking for my number. One even said he'll send me load. Yuck.

- Benj again. I gave him a second chance. Stupid move. He was still attached. Grr.

- Eugene. He started being nice and all to me. Okay, not nice...flirty. Calling me at my house, throwing "You're getting prettier" comments almost everyday, etc. And he told me he was single. Thanks to beloved friends, I found out that he was actually married. Rawr.

- Gay vocalist. I've mentioned him before. That friggin' a$$h*le.

The latest addition to this list is this guy who approached me tonight. He seemed nice and all, making small conversations, throwing li'l compliments here and there. He even offered to take me home. Of course I said no, this was the first time I met the guy! And later on, he asked me if I have a boyfriend to which I have another "no" for an answer. And what did he say next? "Ako may girlfriend. Six years na kami." WTF? And he was really blunt in saying that he was attracted to me AFTER ADMITTING THAT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!

* * * *

The End x7


Feeling: Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Giddy
All ears: I Won't Say (I'm In Love) The Cheetah Girls ---> I'm on Disney mood these days!
Trapped: Hunger Elise Blackwell