Unselfishness

Today was Karen's day of big realization: the world will be a much better place if everybody just stops to think of others.

The day started out with me seeing these two kids sharing a small cup of corn. The way they ate, it seemed like they haven't eaten in days. Like, they've almost forgotten how food really tasted and groveled at the chance for hot, tasty nourishment. It was such a pitiful sight. And it just made me realize that the world has so many problems, half - or maybe even 80, 90% - of which are bigger than my own. At that moment, I wanted to say, "From now on, I'll always think about others." But I know how hard that really is. Because at times, most of the times, we tend to be selfish. It's human nature.

Yet I guess the day was meant to turn me into a more giving person.

I've never denied it, I'm a One Tree Hill fan. In fact, one of the reasons I've chosen a Sunday off is to be able to watch the OTH rerun on etc. Since it was a Sunday, I watched the drama of the Tree Hill kids. As fate would have it, today's episode fell on "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept" where Jimmy - a relatively unpopular kid always picked on by the bullies - toted a gun to school and caused ruckus and an almost hostage situation that ended in him killing himself (and the evil Dan murdering his brother Keith, but that's not the focus of this entry). I was crying almost the whole time while watching tonight's OTH offering. All because the central topic of "With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept" struck a chord in me. Let me take you to Jimmy's world...

As he said, he was tired of it all - being invisible. Or being visible only when people needed somebody to bully, to put down. Tired of being a loser. Of feeling that nobody really cared. Of the fact that nobody really knew him beyond being a "fat ass". He was eternally afraid of going to school. Then one day, he had to take a leave. He was so into anti-depressants that he had to take treatments and missed some school days. For him, being away from the cause of his misery was such a nice feeling. But he had to go back. And it's as if nothing happened. As if nobody reall noticed he was gone. He is a nice kid, it's just that nobody really noticed. Until he brought that gun.

It's easy to say that it's hard to get to know everybody around you, that it takes a lot to get into other people's drama. But that's such a stale excuse. Okay, it requires effort. And it's hard. But we need to make that effort. We need to reach out. It not only makes us sane, makes us feel that we have a good life (as Menander pointed out, "Consider other men's troubles; that will comfort yours") - it also makes those who truly suffer feel like all is not lost, that somebody actually cares enough to help. To reach out.

And after a purge of tears, I actually felt lighter. And I know I'll feel lighter when I achieve what I'm determined to achieve: become a less selfish person.

When one feels troubled, one must think of those who truly suffer.

Feeling: Humbled
All ears: Jesus Take the Wheel Carrie Underwood
Trapped: Hunger Elise Blackwell