Because I haven't been articulate recently, I cannot write beautiful paragraphs describing what's been happening and how I've been feeling these past few weeks. So for now, I'll dish out another serving of one liners. Well, not as "one liner"-ish as the last post, but...you get my drift...I hope...
* I don't know why, but I feel so detached from you right now. But I honestly hope you'll be okay. Honest. Sometime, someday, we'll have that bond again, the one we had before things got...ugly. And before you started to lean on me at a time when I wasn't ready yet. When I still wanted to have fun. To be a college girl without much worries but her thesis.
* I wish you could look at me beyond the bread that I put in the table.
* Mailap pa din si closure. And I've been wanting to compose this open letter that I really, really wish could reach you. Blame it on katamaran, kapaguran, or the ever-corny "hindi pa ako ready" excuse, but here I am, still unable to pen the closure letter. Maybe next week. Next month. Next year. For now, I leave you with this song: Mata by Mojofly.
* My thoughts revolve around three Rs right now.
* It was nice, trying to break the cycle. And in some ways, I can say that I have successfully done so. Well, not as successfully as I want to - I still get kilig when I'm around the fuckable officemate (who said - or rather implied - that he has a girlfriend) and I still can't help but crush on the very much married Jofer - but the fact that I have stopped quote-unquote-falling for the attached guys and that I'm already seeing the advantage of actually quote-unquote-falling for the unattached ones is actually a good starting point. Mas masaya. Pero *ehem* old habits are hard to die. Sabihin na natin mas exciting pa din kapag ang isang tao ay hindi masyadong available. Challenge, eh. Pero *ehem uli*, one has to stop heeding to the challenge...
* Speaking of "Mas masaya"-ng unattached guys. Or guy. "Disguised" in the name of Cuteness. I love seeing him. Being around him. I don't know if you can say I'm actually falling but I think I'm getting there. Which scares me. And excites me. And I don't know. I just know that everytime I think about him, that I'm around him, I'm happy. And safe. And yuck, mushy. So I'll stop now, before I spit more mush.
* And he's been sweeter and nicer recently. I just have to be eternally prepared for those curve balls he still throws once in awhile... But let me just say that I loved how he laughed awhile ago. Dangerous.
* Okay, I've been camping out in geekland recently and I haven't been watching too much media (and by media I mean non-videogame related) and I have missed out on a lot of good stuff. Take High School Musical, for example. Been seeing this on Disney Channel for quite some time now and I read about Mika's and Ros' entries about this latest Disney Original and I know Zac Efron is love (ain't he?) but I just haven't found the time to actually sit down and watch the movie. And now I finally have. And it's just...love. Sigh. How fun it is to be a high schooler.
* I have to make another trip to Quiapo. I just have to buy It Started With A Kiss. Joe Cheng is heaven! ^__^
* I never thought wanting to help was gonna be interpreted in a wrong way. It's - I can't put a word on it, so for now I'll use depressing - depressing when people don't appreciate the help you're offering. I could put all expletives in here to express my disgust, frustration, and utter disbelief - but they will all be senseless. So, for now, I'll just lie low and mind my own business.
* I would have expected this from my friends, but not my family...
* Whoever said that birthdays are just for kids? Don't adults sometimes wish they could be the focus of their own fuckin' birthday? And I'm not talking about cakes and balloons and ice cream and the works. Just the attention. A simple, "Happy Birthday, Karen" would have sufficed. But no. Everybody went on talking about their own lives that until 7 p.m. when I said goodbye to go to work, the only people who greeted me were the little ones aged 6, 7, and 9.
* Did they even ask me if I wanted to go videoke?
* I want chocolates. And Japanese food. And a new stuffed bear.
* I just want my birthday to be happy. Not fun. Happy. Genuinely happy. I don't think it will happen, though. =(
Feeling: 
Confused
All ears: Mata Mojofly ConfusedLost: Eleven Minutes Paulo Coehlo
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