I AM IN LOVE!!!

***I have started this entry last September29...and I just felt the biggest urge to finish this today. I am so broken-hearted. And I feel so damn guilty for feeling so...why? Because the guy is so not worth it. So I just wanted to feel the same way I did when I wrote this entry. and hopefully, by the end of the entry, I'd be happy.

Mu-hyeok. That's his name.

I've been hooked to Sorry, I Love You this past week. And yesterday I was watching Episode 3 in the midst of extreme (as in extreme!) kakiligan. And then watching Mu-hyeok (portrayed by Korean actor So Ji-sup) look so lovingly at Eun-chae (Im Su-jeong), I just can't help but blurt out "I'm in love!!!" Mu-hyeok is the second coming of Dao Ming Xu - only, Mu-hyeok is better.

"My" Mu-hyeok has been abandoned since birth. He vowed to better his life because he wanted to get back to his mother and offer her the life she was not able to provide her kids. He so loved his mom. He never felt abandoned. Instead, his motto was "She had her reasons." He never took his adoption against his mom. And this proves how pure my Mu-hyeaok's heart is. But I admit, he is tough. Rough. Living in the streets did that to him. But underneath that rocky surface is a heart pure of gold.

And Mu-hyeok's love is real. And ideal. And very self-sacrificing. Being the girl that I am, I want to be treated a princess. I want to feel that in the love 'race', my other half should love me more. And that's exactly how Mu-hyeok treated Eun-chae. And all the time I was watching the series, I just felt like I was Eun-chae and that Mu-hyeok was gazing at me lovingly. Hehe...yes, I'm going crazy. Well, you should meet Mu-hyeok and you'll know how I feel.

Sigh. I have just finished the series yesterday and I just can't help but think: I'll someday meet somebody like Mu-hyeok.

***I'm happy na. =)

I Am One Big EMOTIONAL WRECK

For two weeks, I've been starting my week in an emotional breakdown. Read: I go to work perky and ready to face whatever challenges the day has to offer; but when I sit down in my station I feel a heavy weight descend down my shoulders and then I start to cry. Not even the pa-shy iyak na nobody will dare notice. It's the iyak na tipo bang parang lahat ng problema sa mundo ay pasan ko na. The woes I've been crying about are not exactly new. They are the same problems I've been bantering about for the past, err, 6years?! But just these past two weeks, whenever these problems cross my mind I feel a major pain and a major urge to purge emotions.

*Sigh* It must be the time of the year...birthday's coming up and I've come to assess my life - and frankly, I don't like what I'm seeing.

*Another sigh*

Ten Blessings

My friend has this small box that say "Have A Wonderful Life"...it contains cards that lets you do one thing to make life worthwhile. I picked out a card today and it said: 'Make a list of TEN blessings you got today. Having an attitude of gratitude is one of the best ways to shoo a bad day away. It reminds us to keep our eyes ever open to the many gifts God continually gives to us!'

And I believe in what the li'l card says. And so to make the day better and brighter, here is my Ten Blessings for the Day:

1] The morning. God woke me up this day and gave me another opportunity to live life.

2] The rain. Not all people might appreciate the water drops from heaven - but I do. And other God's creatures also do. The rain is sustenance. It's refreshing to the mind and to the soul And for that, I consider the rain a blessing.

3] My job. I've been here for almost 3months now. And everyday I'm just thankful that I have the job. It may not be my dream job, but hey, as long as it keeps food on the table I can't complain.

4] Lucky Me! Sotanghon meal. I got drunk yesterday and there was no food in my system. And when I got home I didn't take anything that will keep my stomach warm. And so I woke up with a really terrible feeling. Thank goodness for the hot sotanghon meal...I'm now back to my giddy self.

5] The office water dispenser. It gave my sotanghon the heated water to cook it. It gives me constant relief when my throat just seems so dry already. And mostly because it's free! Hehe!

6] Josh Hartnett. His picture...the one posted on my station. Without it I can go crazy! It makes me sane, it makes me smile...*sigh*

7] "Almost Married " book by Tara FT Sering. Keeps me occupied when there's nothing to do at work.

8] My cellphone. Keeps me connected with my oh-so-wonderful friends.

9] My mom and my sister. They make me feel loved. Just this morning, when I woke up, I found by my bedside a letter from my sister. And my mom went with me to work because she knows it's dangerous. *Sigh* They love me!

10] And lastly, my friend's "Wonderful Life" box...it steered me on a happy path this day!!! =)

"Here Tonight" by Hale

Pasintabi po sa Hale kung hihiramin ko ang kanta nila. I listened to their CD last night and this one particular song had a sad riff to it. And the lyrics were just amazing...they suit my present mood just fine. Read the lyrics and I'll explain later...

Here Tonight

Hale

So long to you my love

Don't be afraid to run away

I know you'll be okay

Just take your time to find

But I need you here tonight

I need you here inside

I need you here tonight

I really, really need you here tonight

Made up my mind on this

Too late for me to hold you back

Maybe too short or dumb

To cry for you but I will anyway

But I need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really, really need you here tonight

It's all my fault

To feel this way for you that day

I know I am and I will

Though it's wrong, so wrong

Cause I need you here tonight

I need you here inside

I need you here tonight

I really, really need you here

I need you, I need you

I need you here inside

I need you, I need you

I really, really need you here

When I wrote the entry, ''Advice ni Hailie Para Kay Karen'', I have already made up my mind that Charles was but a part of the past. The part that I will never go back to...unless, as you can clearly read on the entry, I have successfully removed every bit of "love" I have for him. And I thought I have done my best to steer clear from his way...as clearly, I still have feelings for him. Until yesterday.

No, I'm not blaming Hale. But when I just heard the song Broken Sonnet all my defenses just broke down. I just felt the urge to text him and tell him "Ei kumusta na?" Broken Sonnet was my song for Charles way back in May. And it just pained me to hear the song on repeat (yeah, stupid me pushed the repeat button on the CD rack). So when I finally came to my senses and decided that it's time to let the Hale CD move on, I chanced upon track6 "Here Tonight". And I just broke into pieces...it just pained me to hear a song that talks of my emotions to the cut. Sigh...I badly need to move on...

Try This!

You might be wondering, "What the heck are these pictures for?!" Actually, these pictures are results from Analogia. You should try it...it's fun. you post your picture and in minutes it gives you three celebrity-lookalikes (or that's what it says). It's fun knowing that I look like Uma Thurman...Hollywood look out - here comes Karen. Haha!

Tried the site again with a different picture. Check it out:

Hmm...Halle Berry, Heather Graham, and Linda Evangelista. Not bad. Hehe! =p